We Suck At Christmas Cards

Not only do we suck at Christmas cards, but we basically suck at getting any kind of cards, blogs, or anything else out lately.

In fact, I think every birthday card we've sent out in the last year has been at least a week late... sigh.

Things have just been so crazy! Randy practically begged me the other day for a 1-2 week break from doctor appointments. Unfortunately, there is no end! 

So here's what has been going on in our world: 

They're still pretty iffy about what's going on with me, and there haven't really been any updates, which is a major reason why there haven't been any blog posts.

I had my evaluation with the psychologist that I mentioned in my last blog, but I didn't have the appointment with the physical therapist because she got a stomach bug the day of the appointment :(
Anyway, I didn't realize it, but the psychologist appointment was more valuable than I thought. First of all, I really liked the psychologist I spoke with, but on top of that, I had been carrying around a lot of stress that was weighing my heart and head down like none other. It was not only causing me mental and emotional problems, but I was also having physical problems because of it. After I talked to him, I literally felt like I had taken all these sand bags off of my shoulders. It was like I had gotten a massage. Apparently, the doctor decided I benefited from the session as well because he recommended that I see someone once a week to vent - so I'm not weighed down.

I know what the obvious question is here...why don't you talk to Randy? Well, I do. However, there comes a time when both of us are so overwhelmed that it hurts me more to put more burden onto him. Anyone who has had a struggle like this can probably relate...or anyone with a spouse, for that matter. You want to spare your spouse from as much hurt as possible. Sometimes it's really difficult for us to talk too much about my health because there's nothing he can do about it, and all he wants to do is help me. It's sad and sweet. Don't get me wrong - we do talk about it...but talking nonstop about my health gets old. It can take over your life. 
I think the counselor will help me. It's hard to admit, but I really think it will be good to vent. I don't want to constantly weigh Randy down with more worry, when it's really just me needing to vent my frustration about my worry. Does that make sense?

Moving on...
In exciting news, we went to my brother's graduation and that was really nice! I don't get to see my brother very often, but I really enjoy seeing him! I'm so proud of him for graduating! I can't wait to see what the future holds for him! I know it's going to be good! He's so smart and talented!
I should be able to see him and his awesome girlfriend more often in the future, though! They're moving to where my mom and stepdad are, which is closer to where Randy and I are...AND her parents live about a city over from us, so yaaay! 

Brandon (my brother) and I then and now :)

I also got to see my dad and my stepmom! I get to see them once MAYBE every 2 years or so (more so recently because of graduations and weddings!) but since we live in different states it's a little difficult. I wish we got to see them more often, though! My dad and I have similar senses of humor, so we've always had a fun relationship.

My dad :)

As for Randy and I - if I ever thought we were shut-ins before, I take it all back. From about Tuesday the week before Christmas to this past Thursday I left the house once (with Randy, of course, because I'm still not allowed to drive) to go to the pharmacy and to grab a quick bite to take back home to eat. Even then, I was in as close to pajamas as I could get away with in the "real world", and I looked awful. I was wearing sweat pants, a sweat shirt, my hair in some sort of chaos, and tennis shoes. Miserable. Randy was about the same, except he was sporting a hat to tame his bed-head. Sorry for sharing the secret, babe!

See, Randy and I got the flu. And we got it BAD.
(Other than some constant eye twitching, my health was pretty awesome until this point, though. That's something! I've had a lot of weird dizzy spells that are seizure-ish, but no full seizures, so that's awesome!)

This is actually a picture from last Christmas, but it'll do :)
It's much better than we actually looked on Christmas this year.

 Randy got it first, on Tuesday the week before Christmas. By Wednesday, he came home from work early and collapsed. I was surprisingly fine until Friday evening, when there was a slight tickle in my throat. Saturday afternoon was when I began to cough. Without taking any risks, I immediately called my nurse and she called the doctor, who called the pharmacy and got me tamiflu immediately! I also got some cough medicine :) that's one benefit to being sick all the time- doctors on call! Seeing how sick Randy got made me certain I needed medicine, though. He was barely getting by with over the counter stuff, and I'm not allowed to take even that with all my prescription meds, so I knew I had to act quickly! I'm so glad it all worked out! However, I felt kind of bad that I got over it faster than him. It was almost like I cheated. I had my fair share, though! I was miserable! The second day was THE WORST! I thought Randy had been exaggerating when he said he felt like he was going to die all those days, but I have literally never felt so sick in my entire life. Speaking as a life-long sick person, that is SAYING SOMETHING. I have never had the flu before, but Randy has and he said it was the worst strain of it he has ever gotten. It felt like someone had beaten me with a baseball bat.
So then the morning of the second day, I got up to take my temperature that morning around 3am, and it was high, but not too high. It was about 100.5. I don't know if I fainted or had a seizure, but the next thing I know, I'm waking up on the floor with sore feet. Apparently, I had collapsed, but I was in such a tiny bathroom that I just buckled onto my legs and the walls caught my upper body. I basically just slid down the wall. It was the best place to collapse in our house! Anywhere else and I probably would have been seriously injured! Amazing! So again, I notify Dr P. and he tells me to go to the ER for seizure monitoring and I'm like, "yeah, no..." Because by this time, not only do I have the flu, I feel awful, I've just fainted/had a seizure whatever, but I also start throwing up everything that touches my stomach! Greaaaaat! AND my only other method of support and transportation is extremely weak and sick. We are in NO condition to sit in an ER. Not happening. Just no.

So then Christmas comes and we are home, alone. And we can't see anyone because we are carrying the plague! And we don't want to see anyone because we feel awful, and smell worse. And I was in a foul mood, and slept most of the day. We didn't even speak to each other most of the day. It was a fairly depressing Christmas.

I got better before poor Randy, though, because I had tamiflu. I was very fortunate. I was definitely lucky getting that when I did! I would have been much worse without it! I only had it for a week, and that was WITH the tamiflu! This flu doesn't play! 

Yesterday was the first day we have felt like doing anything in weeks, and it was great! We went to see The Hobbit! We really enjoyed it :) It was really nice to get out, too. Don't let some of the nasty reviews fool you! Go see it! Please keep in mind that The Hobbit is a children's book, though. If you're going expecting it to be exactly like Lord of the Rings, you're going to be grumpy. It's still kind of intense, and I wouldn't take kids to see it, but it's slightly more cheerful and upbeat at times. Randy has read all of the books (LOTR and The Hobbit) a bajillion times and gave it a thumbs up, if that helps!

So NOW we're about to enter hyper drive! Today, I have an appointment with Dr. P, where I'm sure I'll be scolded for not going to the ER, then tomorrow we're having Christmas with Randy's family. THEN, we're headed to have Christmas with my family, like we were supposed to do on Christmas. However, seeing how Randy and I had the plague, we're going for New Year's Eve instead!

Then we have our FIRST anniversary on January 7th!!!
Then I'm supposed to be in the hospital for that seizure study, which will most likely be the third week of January.


Stress is our greatest enemy right now. That, and germs. Poor Randy is still trying to recover all the way from the nastiness of the last few weeks. We could definitely use your prayers right now.
Thank you so much for your continued support and love!

Blessings,
Randy & Erin