A Delivering Journey

I haven't been feeling well at all for the past few weeks and it is getting pretty old! Like I mentioned before, I had an appointment with Dr. P on Friday of this past week. It was a surprise visit because I called and left a message on their machine after having one of my weird episodes that have been happening lately(see last post) and it freaked me out. Well, apparently it freaked them out, too. Dr. P said I sounded scary on the machine. He said I sounded like a different person, like something was really wrong with me. He also said I just sounded like something bad was happening, so that's why he wanted to see me immediately. Weird, right? Well, after that, Randy confessed that he, too, had noticed that I change when these "things" happen to me. He said lately I have, on occasion, turned into a different person that he just didn't know at all. He said I will act normal, then suddenly it's like a different person is sitting in front of him - someone with...

Strange things have been happening lately. Stranger than normal, that is. I honestly don't even know what to think about what has been happening to me lately. The more I think about it, the more I feel like it just can't be real. I know it is real, though. That's the part that scares me most. I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start with a week or so ago, maybe two. Until today, I didn't think this was important, but now I'm realizing it wasn't normal at all. The other day, I decided to take the elevator from the third floor to the first floor at school (I know...I should have taken the stairs...but sometimes I just feel like being alone in the elevator - that, and not walking) Anyway, I got in the elevator, and I don't really remember what happened, but I remember being extremely confused and feeling like everything kind of spun around. It only lasted a second and it was almost like I blacked out. I didn't even realize it. It was...

I'm forgetting everything these days. It was bad before my diagnosis because I was in this really bad fog all the time that completely drained me of all of my energy, memory, and just about everything else. Since I've been on my medication, the fog has been lifted and I actually feel like living life again, which is awesome! I mean, it constantly felt like I had this vice around my brain and it was like any thought or emotion was a HUGE task. It was awful, so I'm really glad that's gone, but now I have a terribly memory and my concentration is at an all-time low. Imagine waking up in the middle of your life and you suddenly have A.D.D! It's a tradeoff...I think I'm winning? It sure is rough, though. It kind of feels like a copout when I feel bad. Lately it has been even worse, so that has been difficult. I have felt drained, but I still feel emotions, so that's an improvement from before even if I am feeling tired! Anyway, it struck again today. I forgo...

Random title? Welcome to my life. Sorry for the lack of blogging lately. There are a few reasons for that.  1. I really haven't had a lot to say and I didn't want to subject you to anything that would waste your time more than I already do :) I think that's partially because nothing has really happened and partially because my medicine (mostly Topamax) has kind of slowed down my brain to the point that not much really comes out other than what is asked of me...and even that is a HUGE task. Creativity is not exactly my strong suit these days. Which is rough because I love to create things, and I'm even in an art class and my art professor keeps getting mad at me because I spend a TON of time planning my paintings these days. If you know me at all, you know I'm not so much a planner as I am a do it now-er, and fix it later-er. However, canvases are kind of expensive, so I'd rather not ruin too many. I'm getting off topic...I'll talk more about pain...