Drama Queen

When I was in junior high, I had this shirt that had this logo on it. Little did I know, my parents had bought it as a "funny-haha" kind of thing. Okay, so I led a naive Kentucky childhood, and I don't think I knew what that word was until about a year after owning - and wearing - the shirt. Yeah...I haven't decided if I'll be that parent yet. I'm sure I will be, but I want it to be somewhat of a conscious decision! Plus, it's pretty much guaranteed any child of mine is going to be a drama queen/king. Add Randy into the mixture and we're going to have one dramatic, stubborn, smart & adorable child. All of the above traits coming from him of course ;) I claim innocence.

ANYWAY, the point in all of this is to say that I have been WAAAAAY more dramatic than usual. I said from the beginning I would be honest about what was going on and how my medications were affecting me so I could maybe help someone else in a similar situation. Well, I think the Topamax might be messing with my moods a little bit. I can't remember if I wrote it in an earlier post, but Dr. P upped my prescription to 50mg vs 25mg, which is still not a lot, but since I'm adjusting my body is FREAKING OUT. Anyway, I have been kind of moody and extreme in the past few weeks. I noticed today that I have said the expression "I will/want to/wanted to punch _____ in the face" A LOT lately. Yeah...violence. I mean, I wouldn't do it! I've just been a little more on edge than normal. On edge one minute, bawling my eyes out the next, insanely hyper the next. I've even been having weird bursts of what I like to call "cleaning moods." That's where I suddenly have the desire to clean my entire house, whether it needs it or not. Let's be honest, though...it needs it. I'm NOT that girl, though! I mean, I clean, I'm not like, "YAAAAY CLEANING!!!" Blegh. Topamax is apparently often prescribed "off label" as well as a mood stabilizer, so that might explain some of my crazy while I'm still adjusting to the medicine. That, and I've been pretty irresponsible with my sleep schedule (...she types as she notices it is midnight...) and up until today I had only gotten about 12 hours of sleep this week. Yeah, I'm a little crazy. In case you were wondering, epilepsy and not sleeping don't mix well. Today, I came home from my class and slept from about 5-10. I just needed a 2 hour break from sleep! So I'm about to go take a melatonin (natural sleep aid) and sleep for another 7 hours :)

In other news, I'm doing pretty well for the most part! I'm seeing Dr. P tomorrow afternoon and I think I'm going to talk to him about raising my dosage again. Things are getting much better, but I'm still nowhere near where I want to be.

God is still good, though! To Him be the glory!

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