Crazy Love
I think I promised a really, really long time ago to tell the full story of how Randy & I met and got together. It really is a crazy story, and it definitely shows The Lord's hand in bringing us together from a very early time. Since it's Valentine's Day, now seemed like a good time to share "the story of us."
I'll begin with where things start from my end...
When I was about to be a senior in high school, my mom was going insane because I wasn't even thinking about which schools I wanted to attend once I graduated. I had no clue. I didn't even know where to begin.
At that time, she was working at our church in the creative arts department and a friend from church, whom I didn't know well at the time, was interning with the youth department and told my mom about her university a few hours away. Before I even knew what was going on, we were scheduled for a trip to go visit and I was furious. I had a boyfriend back home and weekends were usually the only time we hung out, so I really didn't want to be gone. Besides, I had never heard of this school, but I was sure if my parents picked it, it was probably lame. Yeah, I was a little rebellious.
(don't ask Randy...he'll tell you I'm still rebellious.)
So my teenage angst and I were pulled away for the weekend to a future student event on campus. I still remember the moment we pulled onto campus. I had been lying in the back seat and I sat up the second we pulled into the gates. I felt a stirring in my soul that I still can't explain to this day. I knew something was different, and I knew I was home. In 5 seconds.
People ask me all the time how I knew I was supposed to be here, and I always refer to that moment, and I think people assume I mean the beauty of the campus touched my heart, or something like that, but I honestly didn't see anything but the side of a hill and a gate...and the backs of my parents' heads. I felt it before I saw it. The campus certainly helped - it is one of the most gorgeous places I have ever been, but it wasn't why I knew.
Anyway, I applied that night in the event we went to, and I was sold from that moment.
The funny thing about that is that my mom was so frustrated at me after that day because then I wouldn't even consider another school. I knew I was supposed to be there. Funny how things work out, right? God has the best sense of humor.
Well, the relationship I mentioned ended before I went off to school, and by the time I was set to leave for college I was SO ready to be gone. I was ready to see where The Lord wanted me.
Ready for my new life. I left the first week of August and roomed with my now best friend. It was a great semester, but after just a few weeks my mom called and said things were a little unexpected in terms of cost and scholarships. We would no longer be able to afford my beautiful private school where you could feel the presence of the Lord, and I needed to figure something else out after I finished that semester. Since I had already taken out my max in loans that year and really didn't want more anyway, going home was my only option. WHY??? Why was God allowing such a thing??? Why would He make it so clear that I belonged there, then take it away??? So I came up with a plan - if I helped pay for school with a job, could I stay? I would do anything. It was worth it. I felt it in my bones.
So I put out feelers on campus and came back with very little until I received an email from an office on campus wanting me to apply. I took it as my answered prayer and jumped on the opportunity. I thought the job was basically a lock for me since it was almost definitely a sign from above, right? I mean, they were the ones who contacted me! Wrong. They called me back about a week later saying they were going in a different direction. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME, LORD?!?! I just knew I needed to stay. I knew I had more to do.
Then I decided to try off campus. I knew there was a Starbucks not too far away, but I was completely out of gas - the main reason for my hunt on campus. I filled out an application and borrowed a friend's car and darted off to meet the supervisor and hopefully charm her into hiring me one Tuesday afternoon. I got there and asked for her, but she had left for the day. Knowing it might be my last chance to have a car for a while, I went ahead and dropped off my application and asked when she looked at them: Mondays. Okay, I'd come back the next week. When I went back the next Tuesday, I was told the manager had gone on a 4 month medical leave, They said she had only been in for a few minutes that Monday and didn't look at any applications. Pretty clear the door was closed on that one. I didn't have 4 months.
That Wednesday (the next day) my mom randomly called me to tell me she noticed I had 12 cents in my bank account and she added $20. WOOO!!! That was especially awesome considering I was supposed to volunteer at church that night, and I had no way of getting there. So that night, I headed to church, resolved to put $8 in my gas tank so I could save the other $12 for whatever else...I also needed to get to church that Sunday to volunteer, so I needed to have enough for then, too! I needed these volunteer hours to keep my other scholarships! Not going wasn't an option.
So I stopped at this shady gas station on the way because it was literally as far as my car would go without leaving me stranded me somewhere. So sketchy. I remember it was about 7pm, dusk, and I held my key between my fingers so I could punch someone and hopefully get away in case of an emergency. Because I could totally do that...So I'm sitting there waiting on the gas pump to get to $8 and I remember thinking it was taking forever. Then, I stopped the pump at exactly 7.460 so I could ease it to $8, but I didn't keep going. I just stood there - something I never would have done before. I remember wondering why it had that last decimal place. Why 7.460? It was a stupid way to calculate money. Then, I realized that, for the first time in my entire life, I had been looking at the gallons instead of the money. I slowly looked up and saw $19.96 on the screen, and my heart dropped. I remember sobbing and saying to the pump, "noooo, just put it back, put it back!!" Let me tell ya, there are no do-overs in pumping gas.
So I texted my bank really fast because I didn't have a fancy smart phone, and it said I had 16 cents in my account. Back to square one.
I remember calling my mom with tears in my eyes, laughing at my stupidity saying, "I suck."
But I had enough gas to make it to church that Sunday....
It also worked out that I also had plenty of gas to drive to church the Sunday after that, when I wasn't working! So I offered to take 3 of my friends with me! My car seats 4 passengers, so it wasn't a big deal :) I was the only one of the 4 of us with a car on campus, so it made sense for me to drive anyway.
About 5 minutes before we were set to leave, one friend called to say someone had randomly called and offered her a ride home an hour away to watch her boyfriend preach, so she was no longer going with us. Almost as soon as I hung up, I got another call from a friend saying there were 2 girls in the coed needing a ride to church and she was wondering if I had any room. If Kate hadn't called a minute earlier to cancel, I would have told her no. Let this sink in for a minute.
I have tears in my eyes thinking how different my life might be if she hadn't. If that person hadn't offered her a ride home. If her boyfriend hadn't had an opportunity to preach that morning...if, if, if...
So we go to church and on our way back one of the girls, Elise, begins sharing that she has loved her time at the university, but she felt like The Lord was leading her to leave. I remember looking at her in the rearview mirror saying, "how do you know?!?!" See, I thought this was God's way of telling me it was my time to leave, too. Then she said, "I just have peace." I thought to myself, "well, I don't have that...so what does that mean?"
She continued on saying, "I just know I need to go home, but I have this incredible job on campus and I'm really going to miss it!" I looked at her in the mirror again and said, "YOU HAVE A JOB ON CAMPUS?!?! CAN I HAVE IT?!?!" For some reason I thought that's how things worked. Silly me. I don't even know, y'all.
I'm sure she thought I was insane, but she answered back, "uhh, sure?" I asked if we could have lunch together in the cafeteria and talk over this job. She agreed and said some other things, but I think my brain tuned out everything after "yes" because I was so excited. We met in the cafeteria and she told me about her wonderful job in the international office on campus. At the time, I felt like the Lord was leading me to a future possibly as a missionary or at least something internationally, so the job sounded PERFECT! I remember getting more and more excited with each thing she told me, and I was convinced it was the perfect job for me! Then, she told me how the job was one of the coveted 30hr jobs on campus, which are jobs that pay for 1/2 of your tuition as long as you work 30 hours a week. When we finished eating and Elise walked out of the cafeteria, I remember calling my mom with tears in my eyes saying, "I found it."
I applied for the job and interviewed with Tim, the assistant director and he decided that I was a decent fit to go on to another interview with the director himself - a man named Randy. Yes, that Randy. I had about a week between the time I met with Tim and my interview with Tim and Randy, and in that time all of the crazy things that had happened suddenly clicked in my mind and I realized what the Lord had done. I knew this was the job for me. I knew this was where I was supposed to be...or at least I was pretty sure. I had already been burned by assuming the same about that other job. I remember praying in my dorm on my knees the night before the interview for peace in whatever outcome because I knew The Lord was going to provide no matter what. I asked to be joyful whether I got the job or not, and to know that if the door closed it meant there was another one was somewhere else that was better than this one.
I went in to interview with Randy on December 15, 2009 and I was filled with a supernatural confidence and peace. My answers flowed to each question he asked, and I remember feeling joyful as I told him that I knew the Lord had something great planned for me whether I belonged in his office or not, and that God had brought me through a lot of crazy things to get into that chair in front of him.
Since we've been together, I asked Randy what he thought about me when he met me and he said I had a glow about me, and when I left he told Tim I was "the one." Boy, was he in for a surprise. He didn't know how right he was! Now, he didn't have any romantic feelings for me at this point. Those came later. He just knew he needed to hire me. Once I got the job, I had 97% scholarship between the scholarships I already had and the 50% scholarship my job gave me. My tuition went from the impossible to $400 a semester. My God is a God of miracles.
The next year, I had a lot of weird problems in my family...like, health problems. It was like Murphy's Law threw up all over my family. It was insane. Heart attacks, strokes, death, car accidents, cancer. You name it, it probably happened. Randy wasn't my immediate supervisor, but he was technically "the boss," so we talked every now and then about things going on since I often had to run out of town for an emergency. That summer, however, we began to get much closer once I found out my mom had cancer. Randy became a confidante and friend. He would ask how things were going and I was able to share my struggles and concerns with him. During this time, even before I knew it, he was praying for my family and I. Through that, the Lord began working on his heart for us to be together, developing his feelings for me. With Randy being a man of great integrity and strong ethics, he quickly pushed the thoughts and feelings down. There was no way he was going to date his employee! Especially one almost 15 years younger than him!!! NO WAY, GOD! Not today!
There's God's sense of humor again... I've always said one of the quickest ways to ensure something will happen to you is to say it can't or won't.
For the next few months, Randy grew to really care for me. Honestly, I never even considered us being a couple, nor did I have feelings for him. I just never thought of breaking the boundaries between us. It was like there was an invisible wall between us, never to be crossed. He was my boss, and as the months went on, he was becoming a close friend. We talked constantly. His feelings began to develop the previous fall, when my mom had first been diagnosed with cancer and was being treated. Through his prayers for me, God began to put me on his mind more and more. Eventually, he began to realize I really was "the one."
By March 2011, talking to him at work was one of my favorite things. We had so much in common it was crazy!
It was also at this time in my life that I remember deciding that I wanted nothing to do with guys and that I was actively stepping out of my romantic life. I had discovered that, like many girls at a private, Christian school, I was constantly thinking of whomever God had planned for me and every goofy college boy I met was immediately put through a could-he-be-the-one checklist in my mind. It was exhausting, and I was getting nowhere. Which made sense, considering I was trying to take control over something I had no control over.
A week or two later, Spring Break arrived, and I was working the whole week except half of Thursday and all of Friday. I was going home to be with my family Thursday afternoon and coming back Sunday afternoon. Since I rarely got to go home because of my job and my mom was about to have a scan to determine if she was cancer free the next weekend, I was taking advantage of my break by going home to be with everyone. Before I left, I got an email from Randy (yes, an email...he's still mortified about it) asking if I'd be interested in going to this art/flowers exhibit at the arboretum since he knew I was an artist. For some reason, with the way he worded it and included the link, I wasn't 100% sure it was a date...but I really wanted to go and find out. Up until this point, I had no clue he even liked me like that! We had started emailing every once in a while when one of us would stumble on something we thought the other might like. One time he sent me an article about Fossil Rim because he thought it was something I'd want to look into. I have always considered myself to be very perceptive, but I was so blind here. Unfortunately, I was already committed to going home, and since he had asked me to go on Friday, I would have missed out on 2 days with my family to go and see if the date was a date. I couldn't justify it. So I wrote back and said no, but that it sounded great and I was sorry I couldn't make it.
God knew that, too, though. I was still in shock, and still thought of him as my boss. He had an imaginary wall around him. I had work goggles. I remember telling a friend that night, "I think my boss likes me..." and he said, "so..." "well, it's just weird..." He said, "what if your boss is the man that God wants you to marry. What then?" Being the sarcastic person I am, I said, "Oh, ookay. Well, if God wants me to marry him, then FINE. He'd better make it really obvious!"
The next week Randy had his comprehensive exams for his Ph.D, and that time was a huge turning point for me. It actually worked out for Randy that our first first date fell through because he was able to fully concentrate during the next week instead of thinking about our wonderful first date. He said he wouldn't have made it had we had our date when he originally asked. He had to be 100% concentrated.
He was gone from work all of the next week, completely out of communication. I found myself missing him...a lot. It killed me that I couldn't drop by his office and talk to him, or laugh about something. I even tried sending him an email about this live feed of red panda cubs to see if he would respond, but I got nothing. I could even see that he had opened it, and that made it worse knowing he had seen it, but wasn't responding to me. It turned out Tim was checking his email to make sure he hadn't missed anything important. I was lonely, and I really missed him. So I did some reevaluating of my own feelings during this time and kind of had a running fight with God about him. I kept coming up with reasons why Randy and I would never work as a couple, and literally within hours, something would happen to make the reason go away. Every reason I threw at God, an answer would be thrown back at me within the day until I eventually ran out of reasons as to why we shouldn't be together.
Then, one night, I was sitting on my bed and suddenly a list I had created 4 years ago popped into my head. It was just characteristics of what I felt like the Lord wanted for me in my future husband. I hadn't even touched it for 2 years, when I had modified it. Since then, it had stayed in the notes on my ipod, all but forgotten. As I began to read, everything matched up with Randy, something I had never been able to say about anyone. Even things I had added as a joke, he matched. As I came to the bottom of the list, I began to cry. He matched them all. How was that even possible? What does that even mean?
I was willing to give him a chance.
How to get him to ask me out again???
Well, after I told him no the last time, I made sure to include that I had really wanted to go, so he knew I wasn't just blowing him off. That helped a lot. He told me later he most likely wouldn't have asked again if I hadn't. Once I had decided I wanted him to ask me again, I was on a mission. took time to dress nicer than I had all year. I spent more than 5 seconds to put a little makeup on, and I woke up early enough to put effort into doing my hair. It worked :)
Oddly enough, Randy wasn't the only person to ask me out during this time. FIVE men, all 30 and older asked me out within that month. After 4 years of not being asked out once, I get 5 in a month...and they're all at least 10 years older than me. It helped me be more open to Randy, too, because I remember thinking that maybe the Lord was preparing my heart for someone older than me. I had always been so close-minded about age differences.
This was also one of the driving factors in Randy asking me out when he did. On multiple occasions, Randy had been about to ask a girl out and someone would beat him to it and she would end up marrying him. He and I had become such good friends that for some reason one day I shared with him that I had been asked out 5 times in the last month (this was before I was trying to get him to ask me out) and it was a huge wakeup call for him! He just knew this was God warning him to stop dragging his feet! He asked me out on a date on April 7 and on April 9, 2011 we had our first date.
It was 7 hours long, and it was perfect. We started by going to the Japanese gardens, then he took me to an Egyptian restaurant, and if you know Randy you know he hates international food. We went to see an imax documentary, and after we went to Starbucks to talk for hours. Randy also hates coffee.
I came home that night and knew I had gone on my last first date.
That night he also called the president of the university to let him know we were going to be in a relationship and that he thought I was "her." He answered back with great enthusiasm and basically encouraged Randy to marry me right away! He had been one of many praying for Randy to find his perfect match for many years. He could tell it was something real.
A few months later I moved to another office on campus, and I wound up working in the same office with the girl who told my mom about the university in the first place.
So funny how some things work out!
The next week after our first date, Randy & I went on a date every night, and we talked for hours. By Tuesday, I knew for sure I was going to marry him. He said he knew before we even went on our first date. That Thursday night, we talked about getting married, and we've never looked back.
We were engaged on August 19, 2011 and married on January 7, 2012.
Being his wife has been the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I absolutely love knowing without a doubt God brought us together. I am beyond grateful!
I could not ask for a better husband or partner in life. The Lord knew exactly who I needed.
Here's my favorite part of the story:
Randy was 35 when we got together. He had basically given up on ever finding a wife and getting married. He was sick of dating and was convinced he was going to be alone. He had always felt like God had promised him a wife, but it just didn't seem likely at that point in his life.
Randy began praying for his wife when he was 14 and a half years old...that's just about the time I was born.
God may answer your prayers immediately...you just might not know it for 20 years.
Don't lose hope.
God has the best sense of humor.
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| photo by McKenzie Baird |
I'll begin with where things start from my end...
When I was about to be a senior in high school, my mom was going insane because I wasn't even thinking about which schools I wanted to attend once I graduated. I had no clue. I didn't even know where to begin.
At that time, she was working at our church in the creative arts department and a friend from church, whom I didn't know well at the time, was interning with the youth department and told my mom about her university a few hours away. Before I even knew what was going on, we were scheduled for a trip to go visit and I was furious. I had a boyfriend back home and weekends were usually the only time we hung out, so I really didn't want to be gone. Besides, I had never heard of this school, but I was sure if my parents picked it, it was probably lame. Yeah, I was a little rebellious.
(don't ask Randy...he'll tell you I'm still rebellious.)
So my teenage angst and I were pulled away for the weekend to a future student event on campus. I still remember the moment we pulled onto campus. I had been lying in the back seat and I sat up the second we pulled into the gates. I felt a stirring in my soul that I still can't explain to this day. I knew something was different, and I knew I was home. In 5 seconds.
People ask me all the time how I knew I was supposed to be here, and I always refer to that moment, and I think people assume I mean the beauty of the campus touched my heart, or something like that, but I honestly didn't see anything but the side of a hill and a gate...and the backs of my parents' heads. I felt it before I saw it. The campus certainly helped - it is one of the most gorgeous places I have ever been, but it wasn't why I knew.
Anyway, I applied that night in the event we went to, and I was sold from that moment.
The funny thing about that is that my mom was so frustrated at me after that day because then I wouldn't even consider another school. I knew I was supposed to be there. Funny how things work out, right? God has the best sense of humor.
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| photo by McKenzie Baird |
Well, the relationship I mentioned ended before I went off to school, and by the time I was set to leave for college I was SO ready to be gone. I was ready to see where The Lord wanted me.
Ready for my new life. I left the first week of August and roomed with my now best friend. It was a great semester, but after just a few weeks my mom called and said things were a little unexpected in terms of cost and scholarships. We would no longer be able to afford my beautiful private school where you could feel the presence of the Lord, and I needed to figure something else out after I finished that semester. Since I had already taken out my max in loans that year and really didn't want more anyway, going home was my only option. WHY??? Why was God allowing such a thing??? Why would He make it so clear that I belonged there, then take it away??? So I came up with a plan - if I helped pay for school with a job, could I stay? I would do anything. It was worth it. I felt it in my bones.
So I put out feelers on campus and came back with very little until I received an email from an office on campus wanting me to apply. I took it as my answered prayer and jumped on the opportunity. I thought the job was basically a lock for me since it was almost definitely a sign from above, right? I mean, they were the ones who contacted me! Wrong. They called me back about a week later saying they were going in a different direction. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME, LORD?!?! I just knew I needed to stay. I knew I had more to do.
Then I decided to try off campus. I knew there was a Starbucks not too far away, but I was completely out of gas - the main reason for my hunt on campus. I filled out an application and borrowed a friend's car and darted off to meet the supervisor and hopefully charm her into hiring me one Tuesday afternoon. I got there and asked for her, but she had left for the day. Knowing it might be my last chance to have a car for a while, I went ahead and dropped off my application and asked when she looked at them: Mondays. Okay, I'd come back the next week. When I went back the next Tuesday, I was told the manager had gone on a 4 month medical leave, They said she had only been in for a few minutes that Monday and didn't look at any applications. Pretty clear the door was closed on that one. I didn't have 4 months.
That Wednesday (the next day) my mom randomly called me to tell me she noticed I had 12 cents in my bank account and she added $20. WOOO!!! That was especially awesome considering I was supposed to volunteer at church that night, and I had no way of getting there. So that night, I headed to church, resolved to put $8 in my gas tank so I could save the other $12 for whatever else...I also needed to get to church that Sunday to volunteer, so I needed to have enough for then, too! I needed these volunteer hours to keep my other scholarships! Not going wasn't an option.
So I stopped at this shady gas station on the way because it was literally as far as my car would go without leaving me stranded me somewhere. So sketchy. I remember it was about 7pm, dusk, and I held my key between my fingers so I could punch someone and hopefully get away in case of an emergency. Because I could totally do that...So I'm sitting there waiting on the gas pump to get to $8 and I remember thinking it was taking forever. Then, I stopped the pump at exactly 7.460 so I could ease it to $8, but I didn't keep going. I just stood there - something I never would have done before. I remember wondering why it had that last decimal place. Why 7.460? It was a stupid way to calculate money. Then, I realized that, for the first time in my entire life, I had been looking at the gallons instead of the money. I slowly looked up and saw $19.96 on the screen, and my heart dropped. I remember sobbing and saying to the pump, "noooo, just put it back, put it back!!" Let me tell ya, there are no do-overs in pumping gas.
So I texted my bank really fast because I didn't have a fancy smart phone, and it said I had 16 cents in my account. Back to square one.
I remember calling my mom with tears in my eyes, laughing at my stupidity saying, "I suck."
But I had enough gas to make it to church that Sunday....
It also worked out that I also had plenty of gas to drive to church the Sunday after that, when I wasn't working! So I offered to take 3 of my friends with me! My car seats 4 passengers, so it wasn't a big deal :) I was the only one of the 4 of us with a car on campus, so it made sense for me to drive anyway.
About 5 minutes before we were set to leave, one friend called to say someone had randomly called and offered her a ride home an hour away to watch her boyfriend preach, so she was no longer going with us. Almost as soon as I hung up, I got another call from a friend saying there were 2 girls in the coed needing a ride to church and she was wondering if I had any room. If Kate hadn't called a minute earlier to cancel, I would have told her no. Let this sink in for a minute.
I have tears in my eyes thinking how different my life might be if she hadn't. If that person hadn't offered her a ride home. If her boyfriend hadn't had an opportunity to preach that morning...if, if, if...
So we go to church and on our way back one of the girls, Elise, begins sharing that she has loved her time at the university, but she felt like The Lord was leading her to leave. I remember looking at her in the rearview mirror saying, "how do you know?!?!" See, I thought this was God's way of telling me it was my time to leave, too. Then she said, "I just have peace." I thought to myself, "well, I don't have that...so what does that mean?"
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| photo by McKenzie Baird |
I'm sure she thought I was insane, but she answered back, "uhh, sure?" I asked if we could have lunch together in the cafeteria and talk over this job. She agreed and said some other things, but I think my brain tuned out everything after "yes" because I was so excited. We met in the cafeteria and she told me about her wonderful job in the international office on campus. At the time, I felt like the Lord was leading me to a future possibly as a missionary or at least something internationally, so the job sounded PERFECT! I remember getting more and more excited with each thing she told me, and I was convinced it was the perfect job for me! Then, she told me how the job was one of the coveted 30hr jobs on campus, which are jobs that pay for 1/2 of your tuition as long as you work 30 hours a week. When we finished eating and Elise walked out of the cafeteria, I remember calling my mom with tears in my eyes saying, "I found it."
I applied for the job and interviewed with Tim, the assistant director and he decided that I was a decent fit to go on to another interview with the director himself - a man named Randy. Yes, that Randy. I had about a week between the time I met with Tim and my interview with Tim and Randy, and in that time all of the crazy things that had happened suddenly clicked in my mind and I realized what the Lord had done. I knew this was the job for me. I knew this was where I was supposed to be...or at least I was pretty sure. I had already been burned by assuming the same about that other job. I remember praying in my dorm on my knees the night before the interview for peace in whatever outcome because I knew The Lord was going to provide no matter what. I asked to be joyful whether I got the job or not, and to know that if the door closed it meant there was another one was somewhere else that was better than this one.
I went in to interview with Randy on December 15, 2009 and I was filled with a supernatural confidence and peace. My answers flowed to each question he asked, and I remember feeling joyful as I told him that I knew the Lord had something great planned for me whether I belonged in his office or not, and that God had brought me through a lot of crazy things to get into that chair in front of him.
Since we've been together, I asked Randy what he thought about me when he met me and he said I had a glow about me, and when I left he told Tim I was "the one." Boy, was he in for a surprise. He didn't know how right he was! Now, he didn't have any romantic feelings for me at this point. Those came later. He just knew he needed to hire me. Once I got the job, I had 97% scholarship between the scholarships I already had and the 50% scholarship my job gave me. My tuition went from the impossible to $400 a semester. My God is a God of miracles.
The next year, I had a lot of weird problems in my family...like, health problems. It was like Murphy's Law threw up all over my family. It was insane. Heart attacks, strokes, death, car accidents, cancer. You name it, it probably happened. Randy wasn't my immediate supervisor, but he was technically "the boss," so we talked every now and then about things going on since I often had to run out of town for an emergency. That summer, however, we began to get much closer once I found out my mom had cancer. Randy became a confidante and friend. He would ask how things were going and I was able to share my struggles and concerns with him. During this time, even before I knew it, he was praying for my family and I. Through that, the Lord began working on his heart for us to be together, developing his feelings for me. With Randy being a man of great integrity and strong ethics, he quickly pushed the thoughts and feelings down. There was no way he was going to date his employee! Especially one almost 15 years younger than him!!! NO WAY, GOD! Not today!
There's God's sense of humor again... I've always said one of the quickest ways to ensure something will happen to you is to say it can't or won't.
For the next few months, Randy grew to really care for me. Honestly, I never even considered us being a couple, nor did I have feelings for him. I just never thought of breaking the boundaries between us. It was like there was an invisible wall between us, never to be crossed. He was my boss, and as the months went on, he was becoming a close friend. We talked constantly. His feelings began to develop the previous fall, when my mom had first been diagnosed with cancer and was being treated. Through his prayers for me, God began to put me on his mind more and more. Eventually, he began to realize I really was "the one."
By March 2011, talking to him at work was one of my favorite things. We had so much in common it was crazy!
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| photo by McKenzie Baird |
It was also at this time in my life that I remember deciding that I wanted nothing to do with guys and that I was actively stepping out of my romantic life. I had discovered that, like many girls at a private, Christian school, I was constantly thinking of whomever God had planned for me and every goofy college boy I met was immediately put through a could-he-be-the-one checklist in my mind. It was exhausting, and I was getting nowhere. Which made sense, considering I was trying to take control over something I had no control over.
A week or two later, Spring Break arrived, and I was working the whole week except half of Thursday and all of Friday. I was going home to be with my family Thursday afternoon and coming back Sunday afternoon. Since I rarely got to go home because of my job and my mom was about to have a scan to determine if she was cancer free the next weekend, I was taking advantage of my break by going home to be with everyone. Before I left, I got an email from Randy (yes, an email...he's still mortified about it) asking if I'd be interested in going to this art/flowers exhibit at the arboretum since he knew I was an artist. For some reason, with the way he worded it and included the link, I wasn't 100% sure it was a date...but I really wanted to go and find out. Up until this point, I had no clue he even liked me like that! We had started emailing every once in a while when one of us would stumble on something we thought the other might like. One time he sent me an article about Fossil Rim because he thought it was something I'd want to look into. I have always considered myself to be very perceptive, but I was so blind here. Unfortunately, I was already committed to going home, and since he had asked me to go on Friday, I would have missed out on 2 days with my family to go and see if the date was a date. I couldn't justify it. So I wrote back and said no, but that it sounded great and I was sorry I couldn't make it.
God knew that, too, though. I was still in shock, and still thought of him as my boss. He had an imaginary wall around him. I had work goggles. I remember telling a friend that night, "I think my boss likes me..." and he said, "so..." "well, it's just weird..." He said, "what if your boss is the man that God wants you to marry. What then?" Being the sarcastic person I am, I said, "Oh, ookay. Well, if God wants me to marry him, then FINE. He'd better make it really obvious!"
The next week Randy had his comprehensive exams for his Ph.D, and that time was a huge turning point for me. It actually worked out for Randy that our first first date fell through because he was able to fully concentrate during the next week instead of thinking about our wonderful first date. He said he wouldn't have made it had we had our date when he originally asked. He had to be 100% concentrated.
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| photo by McKenzie Baird |
Then, one night, I was sitting on my bed and suddenly a list I had created 4 years ago popped into my head. It was just characteristics of what I felt like the Lord wanted for me in my future husband. I hadn't even touched it for 2 years, when I had modified it. Since then, it had stayed in the notes on my ipod, all but forgotten. As I began to read, everything matched up with Randy, something I had never been able to say about anyone. Even things I had added as a joke, he matched. As I came to the bottom of the list, I began to cry. He matched them all. How was that even possible? What does that even mean?
I was willing to give him a chance.
How to get him to ask me out again???
Well, after I told him no the last time, I made sure to include that I had really wanted to go, so he knew I wasn't just blowing him off. That helped a lot. He told me later he most likely wouldn't have asked again if I hadn't. Once I had decided I wanted him to ask me again, I was on a mission. took time to dress nicer than I had all year. I spent more than 5 seconds to put a little makeup on, and I woke up early enough to put effort into doing my hair. It worked :)
Oddly enough, Randy wasn't the only person to ask me out during this time. FIVE men, all 30 and older asked me out within that month. After 4 years of not being asked out once, I get 5 in a month...and they're all at least 10 years older than me. It helped me be more open to Randy, too, because I remember thinking that maybe the Lord was preparing my heart for someone older than me. I had always been so close-minded about age differences.
This was also one of the driving factors in Randy asking me out when he did. On multiple occasions, Randy had been about to ask a girl out and someone would beat him to it and she would end up marrying him. He and I had become such good friends that for some reason one day I shared with him that I had been asked out 5 times in the last month (this was before I was trying to get him to ask me out) and it was a huge wakeup call for him! He just knew this was God warning him to stop dragging his feet! He asked me out on a date on April 7 and on April 9, 2011 we had our first date.
It was 7 hours long, and it was perfect. We started by going to the Japanese gardens, then he took me to an Egyptian restaurant, and if you know Randy you know he hates international food. We went to see an imax documentary, and after we went to Starbucks to talk for hours. Randy also hates coffee.
I came home that night and knew I had gone on my last first date.
That night he also called the president of the university to let him know we were going to be in a relationship and that he thought I was "her." He answered back with great enthusiasm and basically encouraged Randy to marry me right away! He had been one of many praying for Randy to find his perfect match for many years. He could tell it was something real.
A few months later I moved to another office on campus, and I wound up working in the same office with the girl who told my mom about the university in the first place.
So funny how some things work out!
The next week after our first date, Randy & I went on a date every night, and we talked for hours. By Tuesday, I knew for sure I was going to marry him. He said he knew before we even went on our first date. That Thursday night, we talked about getting married, and we've never looked back.
We were engaged on August 19, 2011 and married on January 7, 2012.
Being his wife has been the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I absolutely love knowing without a doubt God brought us together. I am beyond grateful!
I could not ask for a better husband or partner in life. The Lord knew exactly who I needed.
Here's my favorite part of the story:
Randy was 35 when we got together. He had basically given up on ever finding a wife and getting married. He was sick of dating and was convinced he was going to be alone. He had always felt like God had promised him a wife, but it just didn't seem likely at that point in his life.
Randy began praying for his wife when he was 14 and a half years old...that's just about the time I was born.
God may answer your prayers immediately...you just might not know it for 20 years.
Don't lose hope.
God has the best sense of humor.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!
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| photos by Jason Chung |
Note: I do not own the last 2 photos. Source: Pinterest
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Although I've heard this story multiple times, just reading it I get teary eyed! I love this story!! God really is amazing, has a great sense of humor, and he does know exactly what he is doing! I can soooo relate!!!
ReplyDeleteLove you so much "twin"!!!
Beautiful love story! Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteIt is an amazing and touching story. Thank you for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteRereading this again, and yes, still teary eyed!! And adding to the humor of it all, let's not forget about Jason praying that Randy would find his own Erin, after he started dating me, and low and behold he married you! <3
ReplyDeleteAlso, the whole entire week that he was gone, completely out of communication, I wonder if that was the trip he and Jason took together?, Not sure what the dates of that trip were. But if it was, it was on that flight back from that trip that Jason figured out that he loved me. They spent most of the trip talking about us...<3
Love and miss ya'll so much!
Erin, I know! That's so crazy how he found his Erin :)
ReplyDeleteNo, he was doing his exams that week. Their trip had been earlier and apparently Randy had thought about telling Jason about me during that trip and that he was planning on asking me out, but he didn't want to steal Jason's thunder, lol. Jason didn't even know I existed during that trip, so they spent it talking about you ;)
Love you and miss you, too!