A Delivering Journey

I was planning on doing my usual post for 37wks, but I thought I'd skip it, since there haven't been a ton of changes. As usual, I'm posting this after midnight, so just pretend it's Tuesday still... We have ONE WEEK LEFT from today. In 7 days I will be holding my baby. 267 days, approximately 230 daily blood thinning injections, 12 ultrasounds and doctor appointments, several baby showers, and countless blood draws later. We can't wait to introduce all of you to him or her! (add one to all of those since it's Tuesday 😂😆 ) Let's take a step back to last week, though. It was Thursday night and I was 36 weeks and 4 days along when my back started hurting. Except my back has been hurting, so it wasn't a huge deal. It's not like it's an unusual thing. I was so exhausted I took a nap from about 7-9 and my back really hurt when I woke up. My back usually hurts, especially after I first wake up, so I thought nothing of it. I went about getting ...

I typed this on Tuesday, but I didn't publish it until after midnight...so just pretend it's Tuesday still! How far along: 36wks 1 day - exactly 2 weeks from today!!! Baby's size: Approximately the size of a papaya or cake (depending on the app haha) - at my 35wk appointment last week they said about 5lbs 11oz. I'm guessing right around 6lbs right now. This week they only checked for fluid, movement, heart rate, breathing, and things like that, so we didn't do any measurements. He or she is projected to be about 7lbs at birth. This kiddo has a BIG HEAD, though. Like, 79th percentile vs a little body that has been pretty consistently in the 49th or less range haha. I think our appointment next week will be the last growth scan - AND OUR LAST APPOINTMENT BEFORE BABY 😳  AHHH! Heartbeat: 149bpm Gender: It's a surprise! Weight gain: Right at 25lbs Maternity clothes: All day, every day. Except for stretchy pjs when I'm at home Stretch Marks:...

I've wanted to write this for a while now, but I've never been able to find the words. This day seemed appropriate to try to figure them out. A year ago today I miscarried our first child. Even a year later, those words still don't seem real. We had been trying for so long, only to have that life taken from us almost as quickly as we found out about it. A lot of emotions encircle a loss like that. Anger, grief, pain, depression, etc. I kept hearing in my mind and heart that the Lord had a plan, but how could I believe a plan for my good could possibly involve my baby dying? With all of my health problems, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. Was my health the reason it had taken so long to begin with? Was my health the reason we lost the baby? I have 4 serious illnesses linked to multiple miscarriages, so it seemed likely that it was my fault. It's incredible how our narrow minds want to assign blame to something we have no control over. I also had a lot of anger b...